A new feature, speaker of the week, will help you with practical tips that come from my observations of powerful, authentic, inspirational speakers and leaders from around the world.  This week I’ve chosen Oprah Winfrey, not because she is famous, but rather, despite her guru-like status as a business woman, leader and philanthropist, she always maintains absolute authenticity.  In other words, people trust her and believe that what she has to say is honourable and worth considering.  In your daily life, pretend that you are “on camera” and being recorded every moment of the day.  Do your actions and words align to inspire others to have faith in you?

Oprah also has maintained the quality of vulnerability, or an openess to reveal her emotions and openess of her heart.  When you are speaking in public, it is important to remain real to your audience, and not to try to cover up your emotion.  This is not to say that it controls you, but that you allow it to surface as part of your humanity.  Above all, people crave realness in a world that is saturated with illusion.  Do you allow your true authentic self to show up?

 Reminder:  the Become a Powerful Speaker Workshop, faciliated by Karen McGregor and Power to Speak, is held in White Rock, BC on June 5th and 6th.   To register or for more information, visit the Power to Speak website.

Did I catch your attention?  Many people who have even slight discomfort with speaking in front of groups crave the magic cure, the elixir that will diminish all fears so that they can deliver an outstanding presentation.  The truth is, there are many tips out there to lessen your fears, but only transformational processes will “cure” them.  That is why I recommend the one “fear-proof” way - and it involves some work on your part!

Either you can continually join speaking groups and put yourself out in front of all sizes of groups for several years to lessen your fears, or you can experience a speaking workshop that gets you to examine your fears, not in a counselling session or psychotherapy, but in a group setting that challenges you to reflect deeply on limiting beliefs, while simultaneously acting and feeling to overcome them.  These 3 essentials to dealing with fear - reflecting, acting and feeling, are an integral part of programs that contribute to change and breakthroughs.

If you can use your mind, body and spirit, and align them to work for you all at the same time to conquer or master the very thing that has held you back for years, then you will make a massive shift quickly.  However, most people never get to this level on their own.  Resources of time, energy and knowledge often keep them stuck inside limiting beliefs.

If you are ready for a shift in your confidence, clarity and ability to powerfully engage any sized group, check out the next Become A Powerful Speaker Workshop with Karen McGregor on June 5th and 6th (White Rock, BC) at the Power to Speak website.

Check out these 4 fantastic events I’ll be speaking at or facilitating in the next couple of weeks:

1.  The Power of Clarity and Commitment Seminar, June 7th 8:30 am - 12:30 pm.  Karen will help you explore all areas of your life to get clear on who you are and where you’re going.  This practical half-day workshop helps you build your vision and work through steps to make it happen, while reflecting on a plan to live your personal balance and harmony.  Please contact karen@powertospeak.com for more details.

2.  June 24th at 7:00 pm Enterprising Mom’s Network in Richmond.  Come out and hear Karen speak to moms in business about how to develop their speaking skills for business success.  Contact www.enterprisingmomsnetwork.com for more details.

3.  June 25th at 6:30 pm the Soul Community group meets for its first inaugral meeting, facilitated by Karen McGregor and life and spiritual coach, Sandee Bartsch.  For more information on connecting with other people interested in their spiritual development, contact karen@powertospeak.com

4.  June 26th at 6:00 pm Ladies Who Launch is having a guest panel of women in business who will talk about work-life balance and answer your questions about this topic.  Karen McGregor will be one of four women on this panel.  Go to www.ladieswholaunch.com for more information.

This past weekend I spoke and emceed a spiritual conference in which I realized that at the heart of every transformative presentation, there is a story that speaks to people’s lives. 

Many people assume that they couldn’t or shouldn’t share stories because these stories are too personal or particular to their own lives.  This is a big mistake, because what happens in the human brain is that it is designed to extract from any story the learnings it needs - and so what seems specific or unique to your situation is actually general.  Let me give you an example from a story I have shared with many audiences of a time when I experienced great struggles with my son and was guided to an answer I was not expecting - a simple yet profound answer to our challenges.  This story, while particular to mother and son, to the type of struggle we experienced, and to my specific revelation, touched everyone who heard it because they could identify with the human struggle in any relationship and the revelation that what is needed most comes in simple, yet unexpected packages.

What story can you share in your next presentation that will connect you to the hearts of your audience?  If there is no emotional connection, people typically walk away unmoved, and any learnings they glean will often be forgotten within 48 hours.  People will, however, remember a story for a lifetime.  Send me one of your favorite stories that touched the lives of others - I’d love to hear from you.

One of my good friends told me that she came across an idea that really worked for her when approaching a stage and experiencing the first few seconds of uncomfortable (and for many terrifying) moments where the crowd awaits your first utterance. 

She explained speaking to be like gazing into a mirror: when most people hold a mirror, they automatically look into it, which is what people do metaphorically when speaking.  They are obsessed with their appearance, obsessed with how they look and come across to others, and the thoughts that race through their mind typically are focused on ”me, me, me.”  With this approach to speaking, the ego is constantly in control and your essence, higher self, or soul is stuffed down and tucked away, never to truly connect with the people in front of you. 

If public speaking is for the primary purpose of making a connection with individual people sitting in the audience, then the mirror metaphor doesn’t work.  Unless of course, the mirror is turned around, so the audience can see themselves in what you are talking about!  If you can focus in those first few moments of speaking on how the audience will benefit from the gifts they are about to receive, your experience and theirs, will be different.  If you can focus in those first few moments on blessing your audience and holding the intention that they take away what they are ready to take away, your experience will be transformative.  And if you can stuff your ego away long enough to look deeply into the eyes of your audience, love them, bless them, and have sincere gratitude for them, your speaking experience will be magical.

Now go out there and create some magic.

Here’s a few you won’t want to miss!

 1.  Spiritual Conference First of Its Kind, bringing together people of all faiths and spiritual traditions to experience the Divine through inner pathways, rather than merely through the “intellectual mind.”  Renowned singer/songwriter Julie Blue will be performing her blues/gospel songs and leading participants through one of the sessions, teaching them to use song and music to connect more fully with their soul and the Divine.  Takes place one week AFTER the long weekend in May.  See www.innerpathtoGod.com to register or for more details, or call 604-928-7179.

2.  A fabulous half day health conference is coming up Saturday May 3rd, and will feature experts on various health and fitness issues.  See www.whatsyournextstep.com for more details, or call 604-241-9993.

3.  Stress Relief Coach, Sheryl Stanton, has several key events helping you to permanently rid yourself of stress and emotional trauma - coming up this week and next week - please see www.SherylStanton.com for more details.

I often tell my coaching clients that what they say has very little to do with their overall impact in any interpersonal communication.  Voice and body language account for a much higher percentage in making the impression you want to make.  However, there are a couple of techniques you can use that will make a big difference in how people receive you, and one is echoing.  When you echo someone else’s words, they immediately feel a closer connection to you, and develop trust more quickly because you are showing them that you are capable of understanding them and even of meeting their needs.  This is true of people within industries and across industries.  Do you appreciate when a doctor talks doctor language, or do you feel more understood when the doctor uses your language to talk about your health challenge?  Avoid your business’ lingo, and listen intently so that you may use the lingo or expressions of others. 

As an example, do you say “cabin” or ”chalet”?  If a client describes her chalet, make sure you don’t refer to it as “the cabin”!  Do you say “job” “career” or “life’s work”?  When you are with someone who uses one of these terms, be sure to echo the word that he/she uses - it is VERY important and likely part of their identity.

Last, use the word “you” much more than “I”.  People want to know its about them.  As Leil Lowndes says, in How to Talk to Anyone, “There are two kinds of people in this life:  Those who walk into a room and say, “Well, here I am!” And those who walk in and say, “Ahh, there you are.” 

I recently read that there are two forces that are absolutely necessary in succeeding as an entrepreneur - particularly when you ARE your business.  The first is learning to write great copy, and the second is becoming a powerful public speaker.  Most people recognize that marketing is crucial and so pay attention to ad copy or hire out, but what is often missing is the attention to the representation of their business through public speaking.  Every time you represent your company, whether conducting a sales presentation, an office meeting, or an on-the-golf-course business meeting, you are using public speaking skills.  Here’s 3 you can’t ignore:

1.  Engaging Stories with A Point of Interest and A Point of Action.  It is human nature to want storytelling and to listen to stories being told.  If you only stick to the facts, you will lose the attention of most people within the first 5 minutes - many sooner.  However, a story with no point or call to action doesn’t help your business.  Decide what you want your audience to do with the lesson learned from the story.  Sometimes, it’s just to lighten a tense moment, and that’s okay too, provided you remain focused on your intention for the meeting.

2.  Organize your stories and points.  There is nothing more annoying than a presentation that is going nowhere - even on the golf course.  Your conversation should have an ebb and flow to it - a point and a story, or a story and a point.  An analogy and a statistic, a symbol and a fact….  you get the idea.

3.  Get to the point.  The first thing your clients will do if you ramble is tune out!  They appreciate speakers who can say what they need to say using the fewest words possible.  Try doing this with facts first, and then branch into being more concise with storytelling.  The old adage in writing is true for speaking too:  the more you throw in the garbage, the stronger the presentation!

For those of you who like to keep informed on good quality events to grow personally and professionally, here are a few you may want to take a closer look at:

1.  Inner Path to God Conference, May 24th and 25th:  A Conference for people of all faiths, spiritual traditions and experiences who wish to develop a closer connection to the Divine through inner pathways.  Features some of B.C’s leading speakers and coaches in the field of spirituality.  See www.innerpathtoGod.com for more details.

2.  Speaker, lawyer and founder of What’s Your Next Step, Veronica Armstrong, is holding a health conference on May 3rd.  Learn how to fit fitness into your life, take care of your aging bones, and much more!  See www.WhatsYourNextStep.com for more details.

3.  Business Coach Liam Brown is holding a seminar titled “The 10 Deadly Sins of Business Development” on Wednesday, April 30, from 10:00 a.m.-11:30 a.m.  Please contact Liam at info@ceoadvisor.ca for more details.

I’ve been reading Eckhart Tolle’s acclaimed book, A New Earth, and am amazed at the advice he gives that can be directly applied to great speaking.  Have you ever wondered if the voice in your head is really you, or is it what Tolle calls “the ego”, the part of your mind (or all of your mind!) that wishes to control, criticize, and keep you in a place of fear?  I believe that when most people speak in public, they are not themselves, but become entirely controlled by the ego mind - that mind that is constantly chattering “oh look, you forgot that word, you should have said it that way, you’ve got something stuck between your teeth and that’s why people are staring at you…”  The list is relentless and causes most speakers to focus entirely on self-preservation, instead of connecting with their real self, that says, “I am hear to help these people.   I’m here to inspire them, to move them to action, to make a difference in their world.” 

Come in service to the people you are speaking to - rather than in service to your ego mind, that tries to convince you that public speaking will never be your gig, and to avoid it at all costs.   You have a gift to offer your audience - now go out there and give it!